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After determining that the person
is possibly considering suicide as evidenced by the
presence of
potential indicators, it is critical you take the following
actions. You may save
a life.
1. Ask the person, "Are
you thinking about killing yourself?" It is a myth that you will
plant the idea in someone's head. If a person has been thinking
of suicide, he/she will be relieved and grateful that you were willing
to be so open and nonjudgmental. It shows a person you truly care
and take him/her seriously. Stay calm, but always take thoughts
of or plans for suicide seriously.
2. If you get a “yes” to your question
ask, “Do you have a plan?” If “yes”, you
will want to know their plan and if the means/method is available
and accessible. Ask “Do you have access to your method?”
(examples: gun, rope, medication, carbon monoxide). Next you should
ask “When will you do it?” (today, next week?) Asking
this question will give you an idea if the person is in immediate
danger. If you feel he/she is, do not leave the person alone! A
suicidal person must see a doctor or psychiatrist immediately. You
may have to take him/her to the nearest hospital emergency room
or call 9-1-1.
3. Never keep a plan for
suicide a secret. Don’t worry about breaking a bond of friendship
at this point. Friendships can be fixed. And never call a person's
bluff, or try to minimize his problems by telling him he has everything
to live for or how hurt his family would be. This will only increase
his guilt and feelings of hopelessness. He needs to be reassured
that there is help that what he is feeling is treatable, and that
his suicidal feelings are temporary.
4. If you feel the person
isn't in immediate danger, you can say things like, "I understand
that you are in pain, and that you want the pain to stop",
and "I care about you and will do my best to help you."
Then follow through - help him/her find a doctor or a mental health
professional. Be by her side when he/she makes that first phone
call, or go along on the first appointment. It’s not a good
idea to leave it up to a person to get help on his/her own. A supportive
person can mean so much to someone who's in pain.
If you, or someone you love, are in emotional
crisis and are in King County, Washington, please call our 24-Hour
Crisis Line at 206.461.3222, toll free at 866.4CRISIS or via our
TDD line at 206.461.3219.
Outside of King County, please call 9-1-1
and ask to be connected to your local crisis help line or call 1.800.SUICIDE.
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